


He Stands at a Crossroads

by BombshellKell



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 21:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BombshellKell/pseuds/BombshellKell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the battle in Jotunheim, Sif sees Loki’s hand turn blue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Stands at a Crossroads

If Sif had not been foolish enough to continue casting concerned glances at Loki, she never would have seen it, never would have felt the burden of carrying this new secret. Volstagg had gotten his arm grasped by one of the Jotuns first, a burning coldness causing his skin to go grayish black, and that was warning enough for her to avoid the touch of them, but she wasn't certain that Loki had heard him shout it. They were all struggling, the icy creatures beating them into the cold ground, and when Loki ran out of knives to throw, he reached up a hand to blast the thing in the face with some sort of spell. It tightened its fingers around his arm with a sinister grin. Sif gasped, catching herself off guard long enough to have the Jotun she was fighting knock her to the ground.

In the seconds it took her to get back to her feet, she saw Loki's eyes widen as he stared down at his hand. Her eyes darted down to where his were locked on, and she felt as if the creature had knocked the wind out of her again. His skin was blue. As blue as the giants around them, as blue as the disgusting ground and sky they fought between. She didn't know what it meant, but she knew that Loki would answer to her for it later. If they managed to survive this. With a cry, she pushed herself back to her feet and thrust her blade through the monster's belly, watching it fall before looking back over her shoulder. Loki's glove had crumbled away, and he was still looking at his hand as if it was some foreign object he'd never seen before. She started walking toward him, but before she could get close he'd shoved his arm back down and darted away, as he was so good at doing. 

\- - - 

"Loki." After Hogun had suggested Loki may be the traitor Laufey spoke of, she'd followed him. "I will not let you storm off like a child. You have more control over this than you say that you do, and I know it." 

"You don't know," he shot back, without turning around. "Do not speak, Sif, until you know the burden of these sorts of decisions. I'm aware that Father may have acted rashly, but it is better for all of us if Thor is gone. I will not try to sway him." 

"It is your duty to sway him," she snapped. "You are his brother. His only hope now. The Allfather would listen to you before he would listen to any of us. And," she added, wanting to cut deep. "I know that is not the only burden you carry." 

He stopped, his shoulders stiffening, but still didn't turn. "What would you know of it?" 

"I saw," she said, almost a whisper. But she knew that he would hear her. He could hear anything he wanted to, anything he thought was important enough to listen in on. "I saw your hand, Loki. In Jotunheim. Are you saying you plan on ignoring that, as well?" 

His hands were on her before she knew what was happening, fingers tight on her shoulders. "You will tell no one of what happened in Jotunheim," he hissed. "No one, Sif. Or Thor not coming back will be the least of your worries." 

"Are you threatening me?" She almost laughed. "Loki, this is me you're talking to. We've known each other almost our entire lives. What do you think will happen if I tell anyone? They'll shun you and call you a monster?" He pushed her away, starting back down the hall at a brisk pace. She gazed after him but started following before too long, wondering if that was what he truly thought.

"Stay away from me, Sif." 

"Loki, you cannot truly think that. We're your family. What a silly thing to think. And in any event, we do not even know that what happened in Jotunheim is anything to be alarmed about. It could be a… a side effect, of the magic you were using…" 

"We both know that isn't the case!" he shouted, whirling around to face her again, their chests touching as he stared down the little height difference there was between them. "Perhaps you don't want to face the truth, even when it stands uncloaked before you, but I will not ignore it. There is something wrong with me, Sif. Something terribly wrong. And I need to find what it is." 

"Stop." She glared up at him. "Stop with all of these dramatics, Loki. Let me help you. As you know I love to help you." She rested her hands on his upper arms, the first sign of affection she'd given him since the conversation had started. Her touch seemed to calm him a bit, prompting a quiet exhale. "Please. All you must do is trust me. We will explain what happened to Fandral and the--" 

"No," he said, suddenly pushing her away. "No, we will not tell Fandral and the others. We will never tell Fandral and the others. And if you do, know that I will never look upon you fondly again." He was gone, she realized, even before he'd walked too far away. He knew just what he wanted, and it wasn't help. 

\- - - 

"And just what was that about?" 

She was standing in the doorway to his chambers, her silhouette outlined by the lit torches in the hall. Loki looked over at her, hardly bothering to pause in his undressing. 

"I am king of Asgard now, Sif. I have responsibilities." He continued unlacing his boots, a long leg propped up on the edge of the trunk he kept at the foot of his bed. She walked briskly over to where he was and shoved down on his knee, sending him stumbling as his leg hit the floor.

"You are king of Asgard. Which would make me the illegitimate queen of Asgard. And I am telling you to end Thor's banishment and stop this foolishness." 

"I've already explained to you why I cannot do that," he told her smoothly. She narrowed her eyes. 

"Something is different about you," she murmured, taking a step back and looking at him as a whole. "Very different." 

"I'm glad you've noticed." He smiled, and he would have been a fool to think that she wouldn't catch the falseness in it. Tentatively, she took the step forward again, reaching out to him and holding his face, studying him. 

"Is this about…" 

"I told you, we will no longer speak of it." 

"We must, if it is affecting you this way, Loki. Listen to me. If you could only end Thor's banishment, and return us all to some semblance of normal…" 

He sighed, the first sign of himself that she'd seen all evening. All of that cockiness and strutting about seemed like a thick layer of paint over the Loki she'd grown up with and come to love, and so the sigh sent relief coursing through her. But when he answered, his tone of voice made that relief seem to freeze. 

"…Can't you see, Sif? I was never normal."

\- - - 

It had been days, and she still couldn't believe he was gone. 

She sat at Heimdall's feet, on the broken edge of the Bifrost that he'd fallen from, crying as she only felt she could in front of her brother. He said nothing, nor did he touch her or try to offer any sort of comfort, and that was why she felt as if she could weep in front of him. He never pandered to her, never made her feel as if she was broken when she was sad. He was always Heimdall, and nothing more. Which was why she knew she had to be the one to speak first, if she would get the information she wanted. 

"Can you see him…" she asked, knowing no matter how quiet she was, he could hear her. 

It was a long, tense moment before he spoke. "…Yes and no," he said. "He stands at a crossroads, with many paths to choose between." 

"Do you know which one he will choose?" 

"Yes," Heimdall said, finally looking away from the sky around them and down to his crying sister. "And it is not the one you would have him choose." He looked back up, and she could have sworn that his eyes, his all-seeing eyes that never showed any sort of bias, looked sad. "It is a path of nothing but destruction." 

She rested her chin on her knees, hugging them to her chest. "If I had told everyone what he was, before. I always knew. What would have happened?" 

"I see only what is, not what might have been." 

"I am not asking you to See. I am asking for your thoughts." 

He stared out into the distance, gold eyes sharply glinting. "I do not think there is any other way this could have happened. You were meant to keep his secret, just as he is meant to learn what he must learn the hard way." 

"And this 'hard way' you speak of. Will he survive it?" 

"He will." 

She sighed with relief. 

"Others will not."


End file.
